When your fall is shot to s%^t.

Yup.  You read that right.  This fall racing season got shot in the crapper.  And you know what....I don't hate it.  After the suck-ness that was Boston, I had every intention of getting back on the Gatorade and GU soaked saddle of the marathon horse and riding into the sunset of a multitude of fall marathons and ultras, and then shit got real.  Like, REAL realz.  With a 'z'.

First, I hit the year mark of my hamstring/nerve injury in early July and still felt like junk.  Stride was still off, foot numbness was still wrecking my world, and long runs just sucked.  They were painful, miserable, and just hard to fit into my schedule without miserably waking up early on a weekend morning and slogging through double digit miles.  By the end of August, I made a super hard decision to bail.  I cried, I was pissed, and then on an over 90 degree Sunday morning (in which I did not have my children at home, so I totally could've slept in), I said F it.  I was no longer enjoying running, and I needed to get back to that.  I decided to keep this fall light, and remember what it was like to have fun.

So, here's where this journey has come full circle.  When I let myself go, and not put so much pressure on each run, I actually started to have FUN.  WTF?! You mean you don't have to pound every single mile at race pace? You don't have to make GU a food group in your diet? You can SLEEP IN? Sweet Holy Moses.  Amazing.

I run for a lot of reasons.  I like carbs.  And by 'like' I mean bagels are life.  I like to unapologetically eat the other half of my 4 year-olds gigantic soft pretzel.  I like to move.  I like to feel successful when winning or placing well in a race. But mostly, I love running because it's the only time during my day when I shut down, tune out, and the constant noise silences for a bit.  I suck at things like yoga and meditation, but running allows my brain to quiet and re-start to deal with the zillion things that I need to do at works, as mom, as a wife, etc.

Now that running is fun again, I have also taken the opportunity to try some new things I am really excited about.  Next week, my son, Carter and I will be volunteering at an expo, and I will run the Runner's World half for the first time.  I started experimenting with running fuels that I can shovel in my mouth while on the trail or treadmill and I have stolen many a great recipe from Pinterest (see below)

Breaking from my plan has been awful and beautiful at the same time, and I am so excited to share my race report next week, so stay tuned and try out these energy bites below, and you'll see what's up too.  ** Plus mini chocolate chips are freaking awesome and for the most part, dark chocolate ones will be vegan!!

Ingredients

• 1½ cups old fashioned oat flakes
• ½ cup peanut butter or almond butter
• ⅓ cup honey or agave (if going vegan)
• ¼ cup raisins or other dried fruit
• ¼ cup mini chocolate chips
• ½ tsp vanilla
• a little sea salt to taste 

Instructions

1. Add all of the ingredients to a medium sized bowl and stir well until everything is combined.
2. Roll into 1-1/2" balls and set them on a silicone baking mat or parchment paper. Wash your hands after every 4 balls to help keep the ingredients from sticking to your hands.
3. Refrigerate for 20 minutes to help them harden. (Optional).
4. Store the leftovers in a zip lock bag in the fridge